A Great Stoner Food That is Often Taken For Granted!

It’s a pretty well-known fact that pizza is the ultimate stoner food. But, is pizza always the best cure for the munchies? Your reflexive mind may tell to answer yes. However, if you give it a little closer thought, you may realize that there are situations where pizza isn’t really the best solution.

Consider this…

You get home for the day, and you can’t wait to get high. So, you do what any stoner would do, you start smoking. Unless you are one of those super organized stoners, you probably forgot to take care of your food needs prior to your smoke session.Stoner Food

Now, you are already stoned and hungry as hell. There’s no way you are going to wait 30 minutes for a pizza to be delivered. You could always go pick one up, but thats not really any faster, and plus, you’re high so you shouldn’t be driving. Quick, check the freezer! If you’re lucky, you might just have one of those frozen excuses for a pizza on hand. Oh, but wait… is that really any quicker?

First, you have to pre-heat your oven, which takes about five to ten minutes. Then, you have to let your pizza bake another ten to fifteen minutes. Finally, you’re going have to let it cool down at least another five minutes after it’s finished. By these calculations, that frozen pizza is going to take you around the same time to eat as a delivery—and it’s not even as good! Either way, by the time the pizza gets there, you will be damn near sober, and won’t even get to enjoy your post-smoking indulgence properly.

So, what can you do to alleviate the situation?

Don’t fret! You just need to forget about pizza for a minute! There’s another stoner food that’s more appropriate for the circumstance, and equally as tasty. That food, my friend, is cereal. Yes, the same stuff that you eat for breakfast, is perhaps the most versatile of all stoner foods.

First and foremost, it’s the absolute quickest thing that you can prepare. Not even a sandwich can be thrown together as quickly as a bowl of cereal. You pour, you pour, you eat. Nothing else to it.

  • It’s cold, and therefore does not run any risk of bodily harm. You will not be able to burn your hands, or mouth, on a bowl of cereal, so feel free to eat it as fast, slow, or clumsily as you want.
  • It only requires 2 dishes to prepare: a bowl, and a spoon. This means no messy clean up, before, or after consumption.
  • It’s cheap… very cheap. Even on the smallest budget, you can probably afford a gallon of milk and box of cereal.

Cereal comes in some totally rad flavors too. Here’s a trick for you, the more the product is aimed at children, the better it’s going to taste after smoking. For example, what do you think is going to be more appealing to your taste buds while under the influence, Corn Flakes or Frosted Flakes?

Finally, cereal is one of those 2-in-1 miracle products, as it’s one of the only things you can eat that will cure your munchies and cotton mouth at the same time. Aside from soup, there is no other food that will let you eat and drink at the same time. Because you don’t need a separate hand for your drink, you leave your other hand free to do more important things, like change the television channel.

In conclusion

Pizza may never be replaced completely as the top stoner food of all time. Still, it should be recognized that cereal has a lot of potential to give pizza a run for its money. Next time you’re about to torture yourself in the name of pizza delivery, stop yourself, have a bowl of cereal, and enjoy the moment while it lasts.